Harmonyism....

Harmony caught strep throat. Or as SHE calls it, "strip throat". She came downstairs by me to tell me that she didn't have to go to school cuz Mom had to take her to the doctor at 11:65. I said, don't you mean 11:45? And she tells me..."You didn't talk to the nurse, so how would YOU KNOW what time I need to go?" Smart ass kid! LOL
So the day goes on and Harmony comes back down and she's sitting on my desk when Papa comes home at 4 and of course she has to tell him all about the Dr appointment and Papa says "Well, how did you know you were so sick?" And Harmony rips off her shoe, and throws it down, rips off her sock and throws that down too, then whips her foot up into his face and says "SEE THAT!?" Papa is looking at her foot and her half chipped off toenail polish and so am I and wondering what the heck we're supposed to be looking at! So I say, "Well, what are we looking at here?" And she gets all flustered and says. "Don't you get it Framma? Just yesterday I painted my toenails and my fever got so high that my toenail polish burned off my toes!!" And she jumps off my desk, gathers up her shoe and sock and tells us..."Geez, don't you old people know anything?!" And trots up the steps and goes home!
We just busted out laughing until we had tears rolling down our faces!
That kid is a riot! LOL

And adding to the list....

Gypsy's chewing spree continues...
6 bed pillows shredded and strewn about the bedrooms they were shredded in. By the way, she has learned to open doors and no the child proof knobs do not work, she eats them off the knobs in seconds! 3 throw pillows from on top of the entertainment center in the living room, which is like almost 5 feet high. (Still haven't figured that one out) A box of Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies from on top of the college size fridge, that sits on top of our dresser, that is in our bedroom ( no idea on this one either). 2 comforters gutted and made into snowflakes! 1 captains chair and 2 legs of the dinning rooms chairs and one childs high chair.
She dug a 4 foot hole out in the dog run and found the sump pump drain hose and chewed a hole in it, so when it kicked in, the water squirted up like crazy from that hole and she was in her glory!! Trust me, that sucker was patched within the hour and has rocks covering most of that pipe! Now she is working on trying to dig herself (and maybe dad ) a man cave underneath the sidewalk that runs through the dog run. LOL

I'm starting to wonder WHY I even like this dog, much less love her! Good grief!

For the love of a Pit Bull Part 2

So now we had this gorgeous blue pit bull pup that was a really well behaved pup actually. She wasn't hyper, knew how to sit, wasn't wild in the house, came to her new name, Gypsy, and was crate trained. What more could I have asked for??? A well trained husband would be a wonderful thing to have asked for but I wasn't about to get that either! lol He had no clue how to take care of a pit bull. I didn't either, to be fair, but I at least tried to learn just about everything I could on the breed over the years, met owners and dogs in real life and I had raised hundreds of other breeds of dogs too!

Gypsy was the perfect angel in her crate at night. Would whine when she had to go potty and I would get out of bed (when this old body would let me) or I would poke hubby and he would get up and she would do her thing and right back in the crate she would go! During the day she had accidents but that's expected with a pup... no big deal. She surely wasn't the first pup to pee on my floors and I have wiped it up so many times, that I think I really have done it in my sleep before! LOL

When she was around 5 months old and her baby teeth began falling out I think she decided that she didn't want to be a dog anymore but that she wanted to be a SHARK! I kid you not! This dog ate everything and anything! If you dropped it, it was scarfed up by this sweet lil pup so fast that your head would spin!! I had my hands in her mouth every few minutes trying to figure out what she wasn't supposed to have~~ AGAIN! If she didn't find something on the floor on her own, she would find other things to chew. Hanging clothes over the back of a chair was a big No-no! She would rip the arms right off the shirt or chew a zipper right off your winter jacket! Hats were fair game too. If you set it where she could reach it~ that was your own fault~ I warned you not to set anything down where she could reach it! Mind you she had and still has 50 plus toys to chew and play with but I guess household things tasted so much better!

Then, I'm not sure if my husband lost his fucking mind or what happened to that man but he decided that he knew all about puppies. Not especially pit bulls but HIS puppy! His girl Gypsy!! It didn't matter that I'M HOME with this dog all day...HE knew what was best for HIS pup! He started to lay down the rules and tell me that his pup was going to sleep in our bed now...not her crate. That very night she peed on his pillow and crapped right on the exact spot where his feet hit the ground when he gets out of bed!! I laughed until I cried!! None of us got much sleep that night but I didn't sleep because I kept busting out laughing all night! LOL

I begged him to keep up with her crate training but he said no, she has to learn. I just rolled my eyes and held my breath. After that first night and in the next months after that, she has eaten 14 of hubby's baseball caps, 5 winter stocking caps, 4 zippers on winter jackets. 3 pair of winter boots, two pair of tennis shoes, one pair of leather work boots, countless sleeves off shirts and sweatshirts, countless socks and underwear of his and the dummy still hasn't learned to pick his shit up! Go figure! lol I figured if the dog had to learn to not chew everything up...then he had to learn how to pick up after himself too! Hubby still doesn't appreciate this from me and I really could care less! lol
She has only chewed one pair of my gloves...they sat just a second too long at her level while I went to the bathroom and she destroyed them in 2.5 minutes...

As if learning the lesson wasn't enough for hubby he decided to let her roam the house 'free' when we left for a few hours! I told him he was crazy but he said she needed to learn! I held my breath and shut the door. After all...he knew HIS pup! We came home to no couch. I mean there were springs and the backs of the seats were there, so I suppose I could give her some credit for leaving us SOMETHING but yea, the dam couch was gone! It looked like it snowed inside the house! All the other dogs were hiding in our bedroom...they knew better than to get near mom when shit hits the fan! I let hubby have it that day! I ripped that man up one side and down the other and made him check HIS dogs shit for the next few days to make sure everything came out of her! I was red hot mad, let me tell you! She could have died shredding all that foam, strings and wood!! I got my way and we kennel her whenever we leave now. One lesson learned, dumb ass!

We've lost part of the foot rest of one of the recliners and a computer chair has been her latest obsession but otherwise she's been pretty good about leaving the furniture alone. Now her thing is corners....corners of anything! The coffee table, my sheets, comforters and bed spreads.... nothing else just the corners! Have you ever heard of anything more absurd than that? Every blanket that has ever been on my bed now, have NO corners to them! LOL She will chew on a box but only the corners!
Maybe the dog is as stupid as the hubby eh? Neither one of them know how to learn a dam thing I try to teach them! LOL

And all of this for the love of a pit bull? Yep it's official, I'm crazy! LOL

For the love of a Pit Bull

I have always wanted a pit bull. For years and years I have wanted one but my husband has always said no. I've wanted a tannish one with a brown muzzle. Short and stocky with that big ole head and mouth that splits its face from ear to ear when it breaks out in a smile! Then.... I saw the blue pits. Gorgeous gray blue colors with white markings on them and I was hooked. I was in LOVE for real! I asked my husband and it was NO way, NO how, will we ever own a pit bull, do NOT ever ask me such a stupid thing ever again! He was scared. He was sucked into the frenzy of how the media portrayed pit bulls as evil baby eating machines and he would never, ever, let me own one! So after 10 years of asking every now and then, I just gave up. I do dog rescue and he wouldn't so much as let me rescue one and bring it into my home. He doesn't know of the dozens and dozens I have helped with transports and finding them new forever homes. And I would never tell him for fear he wouldn't let me be involved in dog rescue anymore. Yes, he really despised pit bulls that bad! He wanted nothing to do with them. Not on his property and surely not near his family! So I thought for sure I was screwed and would never get to own a pit bull in my lifetime....

Fast forward to this past Fall/Winter 2010~~I was told of a little blue pit girl just up the road from me that needed a home. I was sad because I knew I couldn't have her but I would help her find a home. I went to meet her and instantly I knew I had to have this dog! She was perfect for me! Maybe if you don't hang out with lots of dogs like I do, you wouldn't understand but there are dogs that you meet that you just KNOW are meant for you...like they were just waiting for you to find them. Well she jumped on my lap and smothered me with kisses and even cried when I stood up so I could breathe because I couldn't catch a breath with her bouncing all over me! lol Then she just sat at my feet and looked and me and we locked eyes and that was IT, we fell in love that second and I knew I had to have her, but how? How would I convince my pit bill phobic husband that she really wasn't going to eat the grand kids and kill our other dogs and cats? This man was scared of pits and nothing I ever said or did to convince him otherwise, would change his stubborn mind.

I decided to sleep on it and a week later I figured out an almost fool proof trick! It just HAD to work! During this week I went over to my friends house a few times and visited this pup, named Tipsy, and we would play and act all silly and I would hear her cry at the door as I walked away. Broke my pea pickin' heart too!
So, we made the "plan".... I would walk with my husband to my friends house to visit because I haven't seen her in like 5 years or more and just found out she lived just up the road from us and I needed to walk a bit and blah blah.... I told my friend not to tell him what breed of dogs she had (3 pits) and if hubby asked, to say something like a lab/boxer mix or something and he would probably fall for it because he really didn't know what a pit bull was anyhow!! And she was to make sure he hears her say that Tipsy is looking for a new home!
So we get there and we're bombarded by the door by an 8 mo old brindle pit and 2 smaller blue pit pups and two kids, ages 3 and 6. Of course the dogs are all over the place wiggling their butts and grabbing toys for us to play with them and licking us 'til they forced us down on the couch so they could suffocate us and hopefully kill us so we could never leave ever again!! LOL
My friend wanted a cigarette so I went outside with her and left hubby with the kids and dogs (terrible I know but all part of the plan). We came back in but just stayed in the kitchen talking and we could see into the living room where the kids, hubby and dogs were and Tipsy was right on my hubby's lap admiring him like he was some sort of God! The look in her eyes was something else. If I only had a camera on me that day, that shot would have been priceless! The plan had been working! She was hooked on him just as bad as she was on me! It didn't take long and hubby was talking to her and petting just her and shooing the other dogs away and then he yells out "Hey, what's this one's name?" I tell him it's Tipsy. He gives me a funny look and says, "That's not a name for a dog!" and he laughed! We left shortly after that and I let it sink it about this dog.

He came home from work a few days later and asked if I wanted to go for a ride.... thinking we were running to the store, I threw on my shoes and jacket and off we went~~~ straight to Tipsy's house!! I panicked! I didn't warn my friend that we were coming over or anything! This was NOT part of the plan!! Oh shit, what the hell was he thinking?? Why were we going THERE! We get up to the door and he explains that he just wants to play with Tipsy, if that would be ok....so we're out back and he say "Hun, I think I really like this dog. She loves me, ya know, like you have that bond with Simon and like you did with Brenna. This is different with her, I can't explain it but it is". Here I am looking at this man crouched down with this pit sitting as close to him as she can possibly get to him and every now and again looking up at him and licking his face with a tiny lil kiss... Priceless, I tell ya! PRICELESS! So he asks me if he could have her and I'm thinking he will hate her guts if he really knew her breed but of course I said yes but I couldn't run around like my head was cut off and jump for joy even though I wanted to! LMAO The plan worked woot woot!! I had my blue pitty baby and hubby thought of it all on his own! hahaha! How perfect could that be? I so love it when a plan comes together!

BUT Here's the clincher....we had her for a OVER a week....more like close to two weeks and he is loving the heck out of 'his' dog. She sleeps in bed with him, goes in the car everywhere with him, eats supper with him, names her Gypsy Rayne, and even sleeps on the recliner with him....
One day he looks across the supper table at me and says: "So, hunny, what breed do you think she is?" I just about choked on my fork! I didn't know wtf to say! Do I tell him the truth and risk him giving her up? Or do I lie and risk his finding out the truth and THEN giving her back? Either way me and the dog are screwed!! I panicked, got up and went into the bathroom.... I was gone like 5 whole minutes and he calls out to ask if I'm alright and I yelled back that indeed I was alright but he may not be..... He opens the bathroom door and looks at me sitting on the sink and asked me why the hell I was sitting there... lol
So we go back to the supper table and I sit down with him and tell him that Gypsy is a pit bull, a true blue, pure bred, American Pit Bull Terrier and the mans face went white....pure frickin' WHITE!!!
He gets up, goes to the living room, with Gypsy hot on his heels of course. He sits in the recliner and Gypsy hops on his lap like usual and lays across him.
I stayed in the kitchen. I didn't wanna hear it. I didn't want to explain this again and again...
I didn't hear anything for the longest time...the table was cleared, dished were done and the floor swept. I dared to venture out to the living room and this is what I found: Click the picture to make it bigger...

Yes he still loves her and yes they still do everything together, although I take care of her the most seeing as though I'm home all day. And I did trick him into getting my pit bull but wouldn't you have? Just look at that face!!
How could you resist this mug??
And still every few weeks he thanks me for showing him the truth about pit bulls. Thank goodness Gypsy is a mellow one and not a hyper one. The destructive side of her is for another story, another time! LOL

Updates again...

Yes, I've been gone awhile...I won't try to go back to catch everyone up on all the things. Just suffice it to say that life goes on from here. I'll touch back on some things but to go all the way back, would take me weeks to type and my hands would hate me if I did that! lol

Health wise I have been better lately. I have new meds that are working on the nerve endings so my feet and legs are not hurting like they were and I can walk without so much pain. My hands and right arm on the other hand are giving me hell but I just make the boys do most of the housework and they're ok with that if I still sweep the floors and I like that deal! lol They say "men don't sweep! Whatever! lol

I finally got the dentist to agree to take out my last 7 teeth on the bottom and give me dentures. I hate those money grubbing bastards! The longer they can keep those teeth in your mouth, the longer they make money trying to fix them, ya know! I told him I would find another dentist to do it if he wasn't gonna take care of me. Oh, his tune changed right away, let me tell you! I mean really, keep 7 teeth? What the fuck for?? Give me something to chew with dammit!! So appointments are being made for that to happen. :) I'm thinking he may as well just yank out the tops too....why not right? I'm 50 yrs old, I'm sure it's gonna happen anyhow. We'll see...

We officially have the bikes out for the year. Harmony is thrilled! The winter was a good time for her to grow apparently, her seat AND handlebars had to be raised! Canon hasn't been able to test out his seat thingy on the back of mom's bike yet...just a tad too cold for him and too dangerous to put a blanket around him and the darn kid outgrew his snow suit! But he'll be out riding soon! :) Sixty degrees would be nice....

Gypsy is all healed up and fine. Running like a dang lunatic on steroids! lol
Poor Windy is sure slowing down though. I feel so bad when I have to make her move for any reason at all now. I can feel her old bone pain and try to make her as comfy as I can. She's starting to get more vocal in her old age... maybe because she doesn't want to get up to go all the way to the door or window to bark anymore. :(
Simon is starting to run into things now. His Pannus (eye disease)is taking it's toll and he's just about blind is his left eye now. The right eye seems alright yet but it's starting to get that cloudy look and it's just a matter of time before he goes blind in that eye too. We'll continue the meds and do what we have to do but this disease is so unfair...he's only 6 yrs old! At least his Epilepsy is under excellent control right now. :)

Ok, off to take a nap...more later ~~

I'm out here, don't give up on me!

So many things in my life are happening right now that if I wrote it all down I would be here day and night! So, I'll give you the highlight in fast forward and you can ask me questions or whatever...

Yes, Ben made it to FL safe and sound! He is renamed Banshee and is sure loving his new family and doggie playmates. :) I love that I made the right decision to let Maria and Joe adopt him, even though we (and him) went through hell to get him down there from up here in WI. He is happy and so am I! :)
The other 3 dogs and a cat are re-homed too. It's a lot easier to get around here without tripping on them but dang it still rips my heart out but I have to think of me now.....

I had to use the manual wheelchair, that Phil borrowed me, for the first time a few weeks ago. I could barely take 3 steps, much less make it out to the van, so hubby carried me up the steps and into the van and off we went. I was not happy, let me tell ya. I was a pretty pissed off mama. It was bad enough that I hurt so bad I could have curled up and cried...the meds were NOT kicking in and taking care of the pain... and I had to use that fucking chair to get somewhere! ANYWHERE! Nothing like feeling helpless and trapped eh? Anyhow, I slept when I could...wheeled to and from the computer on my computer chair, and hung out on facebook for awhile and typed when my hands would let me, then wheeled back to bed. Docs finally found some meds that wanted to co-operate with me so they took the edge off the pain enough for me to get out of bed more often and act like I was actually LIVING!
Of course little Harmony would draw me pictures and bring them to me and she would bring me cookies and milk in bed. I don't suggest ever doing this with a 6 yr old!. LOL And of course she had to read me her never ending pile of books until her mom would call her back upstairs for bed. She would rub lotion on my arms, hands and legs and feet and tell me to get better too. Such a good little nurse! But After the cookies and milk and the drops of lotions, my bed would be a slimy mess and hubby would have to strip the bed every day! One day, Harmony noticed the bedding kept changing and she put her little hand on my shoulder, brings her face really close to mine and says, "Framma, did you have another accident last night?"
Let me tell you, I almost peed the bed laughing right then and there!

Saved a life last night

I still can't write about it though, I'm still a bit shocked.... I'll write out this page at a later time.

Ben Update

Ben should be in Florida tonight. The other transporter (Christine) almost got bit by him because she reached up over his head to pet him after a long ride from WI to Indianapolis, Indiana! She realized what she did but still..how stupid can you be to do that to a stressed out dog? DUH! Anyhow, Ben's favorite red kong ball was lost but he can get a new one. I'm so excited for Maria to meet him. He's such a neat dog. I just hope he doesn't turn on the water and open too many doors for her because he will make her crazy! LOL
The dynamics of my pack is changing again and Simon is beside himself....
I think I may have found a place to re-home Shadow to. It's a senior dog rescue here in WI about an hour and a half away and they match up the senior dogs with senior people to adopt them, so that will be cool if she can go there.

I'm really hating that I have to give up my dogs because of my health... in fact I'm down right PISSED OFF! It's so not fair to any of us. To the dogs, to me, hubby or even the grown up kids. The only ones that are taking it well are Harmony and Angie! Angie's just sick of the barking, which I don't blame her one bit but she would tolerate it for as long as she had to, just to please her mom. But Harmony is doing just fine as long as her Simon stays right here, she has no problems with any of the other dogs leaving....go figure. (Her and Simon are a month apart in age and have grown up together from the start because I was always Harmony's babysitter and those two still continue to grow up together)...

And so it goes around here....

Ben Left Today

Ben is on his way to Florida tonight. The lady from a WI dog rescue came and picked him up late this afternoon. He fell on the Wheelchair ramp and his toes/foot got stuck in the boards of the steps and he cried but he was still walking and running fine afterwards so I think it's alright. Ann, the lady that's driving him on the first part of the trip hasn't called me to tell me that he's favoring that foot or anything so he must be doing alright. I'll be calling her in the morning to check up on him though. It sure is quiet without him here. How will I ever take my naps without his big head resting by my belly and me stroking that perfectly smooth bunny soft hair on his head to help me fall asleep? This is gonna take some getting used to around here, for me and for the rest of the dogs. Here we go again, another shift in the pack... let the ripples start! lol

Now I hope we can find a home for Shadow. I can't risk falling over her again, I'm surprised I didn't break my frickin' arms or legs falling over her! If she would just get UP and move for me. But now she won't and I can't risk that anymore. It sucks. One of these times it will be my head on the cement and I may not come back from a fall like that :(

My Birthday Wish

When Harmony came down to give hugs and kisses last night she says, " Hey Framma, remember when you blew out your birthday candle and you got to make a wish?" I told her I sure did and that it was a very good wish too!
She says "Well, Fram, I know you're not supposed to tell anyone your wish or it won't come true so, I'm just gonna ask you something and you can just nod your head yes or no ok?" I agreed, wondering what the heck this kid has gotten me into now.....
She says...."So, remember what I whispered in your ear before you blew out the candle?" I nodded yes... she says "Well, was that your wish?" I nodded yes...She took off running through the house like a lunatic, saying yes, yes, yes, sort of under her breath, with the 6 dogs hot on her heels, wondering what just happened!! Her blonde hair was just flying behind her and as she ran back to me, after a few laps through the house, she couldn't even breathe! lol.
Her eyes were as big as dinner plates and she says "Oh my goodness Fram, do you know what? I wished for the same thing!!" I said "Oh really??" She says "Yup I told you to wish for a magic wand and I wished for one too! So now we can get anything we want Framma, ANYTHING!!" She grabs my face in her sweaty little hands and looks me right in the eyes and says: "Do you know what this means??? We can get a swimming pool and a HUGE swing set (with her arms spread wide open) and get Papa a brand new Van and all kinds of good stuff!! Framma! It's gonna be AMAZING!!!"

I just sat there not saying anything.....She just stands there looking at me, her brow scrunches up and she says "What?, What, Framma? What's the matter?" I say to her: "Well, Harm, that sounds like a really good plan with all those new things but guess what?" She gets all serious looking and says "What?" I said "Our wish for magic wands won't come true now because we told each other what we wished for."
Her eyes filled with tears and her lip started to tremble and I thought for sure she was gonna start wailing in about 5 seconds... Then she sighed...a big full, fill your lungs and let it back out sigh.... She looks at the floor and says " Framma, our next Birthdays are so far away, how are we ever gonna wait that long to wish for magic wands again?" And then the tears spilled over... I just hugged her and told her that we'll be a whole year older next year and by then we can wish for even bigger and better things by then! She was happy with that but she still said that a whole year was way to long to wait.
It made me wish that we had a birthday 4 times a year or something! This kid thought she had it all figured out at 6 years old! Poor baby :(

Feeding Frenzy!

Forgot to tell ya...I made a beef roast and carrots and taters for supper Sat night. And I made beef sandwiches for lunch on Sunday. Then Sunday morning I made a huge Taco Salad with a bunch of veggies on it and chips and Chili so we would have stuff to eat for the Daytona 500 race. Of course I missed most of it because it was my nap time, but the guys got to pig out and they loved it. I think Phil is getting spoiled by me and Angie's cooking though. What I don't think of to make then she thinks of something yummy. I swear by the end of summer we'll have Phil using his right hand to get food in his mouth! lol

I told the kids that if they want me to keep on cooking that they have to help me like they have been. They have to open cans and pour the big pots, get things out of the oven and stuff cuz my hands just can't do it anymore. So far I haven't gotten any complaints...I think they finally got tired of the fast food crap and remembered that Mom really IS a good cook and that if they do a few simple things for me that I'll make them some awesome meals! I mean geez, I could seriously burn myself if one of my hands gives out on me or if I don't feel the hot water fall on my fingers.
I never thought I'd hear the day that MY kids didn't want McDonalds though! Does that mean I WON? That I'm the better cook? lol

The kids better agree or they're gonna fricken starve!! LMAO

Blizzard

Twelve inches of snow last night and today. I think it's pretty out but then again, I'm not the one who has to go out in this crap and shovel it! lol Of course Harmony is loving it and was outside playing in it and spilling snow back onto the sidewalks, which was trying everyone's patience out there that are working so hard to keep the driveway and sidewalks clear. Finally, Papa made her get her own little shovel out and he put her to work and made her clean up her own messes she made. She cleaned up the snow but then went up to the house, pulled open the door then stuck her head back around it and yelled "Papa, you're mean I'm not gonna play with you until summertime!!" She stormed into the house and Angie must have sent her right back out and she sat on the wheelchair ramp for a minute and pouted, then she figured out that she could slide down the ramp on her slippery snow pants so she was having a blast sliding down the ramp and little did she know, she was "shoveling" it off at the same time... LOL
Papa had to watch the kids for an hour and a half tonight. If I go up there to watch them, Harmony will never go to bed, she has too much to tell me and Papa will just tune her out. He can do that better than I can and she gets fed up and just goes to bed for him. I can tune out adults so much better! lol
Papa told me that Harmony wants me to come up there tomorrow when Papa's supposed to watch the kids again...I think I'll go an hour early though so I can play for a bit with her then get out of there somehow before bedtime so she will still go to bed for Papa.
Most of us are healthy in this house for once so I'm hoping to get to spend some time with baby Canon and Phil this week. I can't believe how hard of a winter this has been for everyone, sick-wise I mean. Maybe this means we'll have a healthy Spring? Yeah right! Like we could get so lucky! haha!!

Trying to fix it...sorry

I don't know what I did, but I must have did it somewhere along the line..... I can't make a paragraph no matter how hard I try! I have looked through my settings and everything but the answer still eludes me and it's pissing me off. Time to get the master mind Ryan on here to figure this out but the dang kid sleeps until noon...hang tough people, it's only 3 hours away! Yeah right, like I have soooooo many followers! LMAO

I think I figured it out but now I have to go back and fix all the posts and put them into paragraphs so they don't look like one giant run on sentence. Joy,Joy!

Tax Day

On Saturday, Papa, Angie, Ryan and Harmony rode to the accountant's place about 65 miles away to get their taxes done. We've been using them as our accountants for 30 years, and love those people so why ruin a good thing... I stayed home to keep an eye on the dogs because Gypsy still has staples in her belly. Besides, I really wasn't needed there so why stress out if I didn't need to right?
Anyhow, this is what Papa told me:

He's driving along and Harmony's in the backseat and she says, "Papa, you're going 75!?" (she's 6 now and knows her number ya know) Papa says, "I know I'm passing a car". Harmony says "Well the sign right there says 55, so you better slow it down MISTER!"

Then as they were coming into a town, the light turned yellow and Papa went through the yellow light and Harmony says "Papa the light turned yellow, and you just went by it, the cops are gonna get you!" And Papa says, No they won't, there's no cops here." And Harmony says "Well, don't expect ME to visit you in jail!" LOL

JINXED!

I knew it, I've been jinxed! A whole week of feeling good was too good to be true. If the PN and the Fibro flare up like it did last time it's gonna be a long time of hell again. All I want to do is ride my dang bike too...Drats!

Life Savers

Teacher was teaching about taste using Lifesavers sweeties. The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red...Cherry...
Yellow...Lemon...
Green...Lime...
Orange ....Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!
The teacher had to leave the room.

A bike ride in Feb?

Oh hell yeah! lol Harmony came back from her dad's at 4 this afternoon and I was taking a nap so she cornered Papa for a bike ride. It wasn't quite 40 degrees so she only got to ride just a little bit up and down the street before she got too cold, but ride that bike she DID!
This Family is nuts over bikes I swear and we can't wait for Spring to come every year to hit the trails. At least this year Canon will be tough enough to sit in the baby seat on his mom or dad's bike and ride along with us. I know he's gonna love it too! He's such a content baby, he'll just pop that thumb in his mouth and enjoy the sites! lol

Harmony will be here Wed night through Monday morning...it will be a fun weekend if this nice weather keeps up :)

Finally a good week!

The last 6 days have been wonderful for me healthwise! I figured with this weather warming up that it would put me into a flare so bad that I wouldn't be able to move but nope, it's the opposite! I mean, I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off or anything but the pain levels are staying at like a 2 or 3 and I can handle that for sure! :) When a Tylenol or ibuprofen and a heat pad can keep it in check....who am I to complain right?
I even have my battery for my electric bike juicing up and getting ready to go for when Harmony comes home tonight! Maybe we can go for a little ride up the road! It should be almost 50 by tomorrow and I'm just itching to get on my bike while I still feel good. And I don't have to wear a mask! Woot! lol
I made home made chicken noodle soup for Angie's lunch yesterday. Ron and Phil have sinus infections and lil Canon has another cold but at least his ears are clear this time. And with the leftover chicken, I made up some chicken concoction with the leftover chicken broth from the soup, some noodles and some Italian dressing in a packet that I had. Sounds kinda gross but it wasn't too bad really! lol And I made some dinner rolls to go with it. My son Ry comes out of his room and says. "Mom is cooking? Are you feeling ok?"! LOL Then right away he asks what I was gonna make tomorrow! Yup, it feels good to feel good! :)
I called my brother Howie last night and he's on his way to remission. Only a few small spots of cancer left on his kidney, liver, and left lung. His right lung is CLEAR! :) They found 2 spots on his spine but they're not sure if they're cancer so he's not worried about those yet. His blood count are right on and his spirits are high. This is the 5th round of chemo and he's hoping by the end of his 6th round, he'll go into remission and be able to travel home for a visit. So that's the goal right now for him...remission and home for a week! :) So while you're reading this pray for him ok? And if you're rich and reading this and have money to spare, get a hold of me...Howie needs money for meds!!
Gypsy is doing alright, she's pushing her limits trying to play with Hurley but then she stops like a statue, stares at me like "That HURT ma" then crawls into the recliner and lays down! lol I wish we could go for a walk...it's so nice out and she needs a walk but I don't want to push her luck with those staples... Later-

I learned to add Pictures!!

I have went back through my blog and added pictures to some postings in my blog. Now you can see the Elevator hole in "The Hole" post and my birthday present that Harmony made for me and a few others...Just jump around a bit and recheck them... if you want to :P And Maria, here is that picture of Ben that I was trying to explain to you about how he curls up ...

Gypsy's Cone

Gyspy was pretty groggy yet this morning. That girl just cannot get the jist of working that cone! She's like a bulldozer and kept filling the cone with snow. lol So I put a soft cone on her and she's leaving the staples alone, so I'll leave her be with just that on for now. She's laying in her favorite spot right now (Papa's chair) and its close to pain pill time for her so she's pretty mellow right now. Why do I always feel so dam guilty when I get a dog fixed? It's not like I'm not doing them a favor because I AM! I mean come on, who wants 8 kids hanging off your tits for the next 3 months ya know? And then turn around 6 months later and do it all over again? NOT ME! I don't do well with a mess of puppies all at the same time. One at a time is enough for me, and I'm a person!

Gypsy's Recovery

She wasn't picked up from the vets until Papa got out of work at 3:30. I thought she would come bouncing into the house all happy to be home but she's really groggy and sleepy. It's like her head is too heavy for her now :( I had to hold her cone up and walk her up the stairs to go outside to potty because she just couldn't figure out how told hold the cone up. Either she couldn't figure it out or she's just that weak...She ate a bit of food when she got home and drank some water but she sure looks miserable. I took her cone off about an hour ago and she's been out cold ever since. She smelled her belly but not once did she even try to bite a stitch. I feel so bad but there is NO way I'll be adding to the pit bull population in this world! (Even thought she's one of the prettiest ones I've ever seen and has one of the best temperments too, but I still wouldn't breed her). I think I'll grab that little mattress thingy we have and sleep on the floor next to her crate tonight. She looks so uncomfortable :( I know dam well if I let her out of that crate she will try to jump on the bed and that will hurt her really bad so it looks like mom gets to be a sucker and sleep on the floor again. LOL That's ok though, I know I want someone to be with me when I feel like crap too....

UGH! Help me!

Is there a trick to getting a picture to stay on the very right side, on my blog, so it will stay there and not move??

Harmony's Field Trip

Harmony went to Riverview Hospital today. She comes to my house at supper time with her blue surgical cap on and a yellow mask, that was pinched so tight onto her nose that it came to a peak on the top of her nose! So she asks me for a flashlight and heads over to Papa.... "Open up your mouth Papa, I gotta see if your dangly things is gonna wiggle." Papa says "my what?" And Harmony says, "Now, don't you fight me Papa, I'm Dr Harmony and I need to see your dangly thing in your mouth."  She's looking in his mouth with the flashlight, all serious like and she says, "Papa, say AHHH, like that, ok?.... Hmmm, Your wiggly thing is broken, I think you have strip throat, you need some medicine, I'll be right back!"  She comes to me and asked what kind of medicine Papa would need and I told her that I think he needs some magic M&M's. Her eyes got all big and she says "THAT'S IT!!" Like she just discovered penicillin or something! LOL So she gives Papa some green M&M's and tells him to take a nap.

So I'm cruising on facebook, checking stuff out and shoving M&M's in my mouth and she says "Framma, I need to check your dangly thing too." So I open my mouth full of chocolate and as she shines the flashlight in my mouth she says "Fram, that's not looking very good, I think you might be very sick!" I said, "Omg Doctor Harmony, what do you think is wrong with me?" And She said in all seriousness..." I think you have dog poop on your dangly thing!"

'Nuff said....I peed on my computer chair laughing! lol

Gypsy Rayne

The vet called while I was taking my nap...

I should say....

Goofy ass Cheryl, the vet tech, from the vet's office called. lol
I love it when she's all serious and shit and I know she just wants to be all goofy and say something funny to make me laugh! Too bad she didn't answer my phone call just now when I called back to check on Gypsy...I could use a good laugh after my nap. Maybe one of the other stuffy ass vets were in the room and she couldn't mess around just then...lol
Gypsy went through surgery just fine, microchipped, got her rabies shot and all that other good stuff. She will have a bear naked belly now and it's cold out there, poor kid. They say it should be in the 30's maybe even 37 by the end of the week but I gotta see this to believe it. This IS Wisconsin we live in!

It's actually a low pain day today, about a 3. I'm impressed with myself actually. I even signed the papers at the vet! You can't read the last part of my last name but who cares, I know who I am....some days! LMAO And I'm sure if anything went wrong with Gypsy that the girls at the vets would claim me, at least for just one day! LOL

Sure is quiet without her here....

Happy Birthday to me!

The Mother In Law called this morning and invited herself over, like usual, saying she had a present for me. I asked if she could bring her hair cutting stuff too and she agreed. So she brought me my favorite home made carrot cake and cut my hair. Awesome present huh? And she only made a few little jabs at me. lol
We had the cake and ice cream upstairs at Angie's house so Phil could be in on the 'party' which really wasn't a party at all. But Harmony was all for the party thing and was passing out the plates of cake and ice cream like she was the queen of the whole show! lol One of Phil's other workers, Tanya was there and she was  showing a new girl, Kelli, the ropes and stuff to be hired on as one of Phils new workers to take care of him during the day and I think she thought we were pretty weird! lol
Kelli has a 3 month old baby, Zoe and Canon was all into that baby wanting to be by her and smiling so big that I thought his face would break! LMAO  Canon is 10 months old today and this lil baby of Kelli's is 3 months and is stronger than Canon! That boy is just a lazy bum, I swear!
Kelli seemed pretty cool though, I think she will fit in pretty good with us weird people! Like I told her... "You'll either love us, or hate us, there is NO inbetween here! It just takes a bit of getting used to us!" LOL
Now we have to see if she comes back! :)

On another note. Gypsy goes to the vet to be spayed tomorrow. Keeping a 7 mo old pit bull quiet for a while is really gonna suck but at least she likes to be in her crate and doesn't throw a fit when she's in there for a long time. It's gonna suck for me than for her because I like to cuddle her for my nap time....she's SO warm! lol

My health is still going to hell in a handbasket but the lesions on my nerves are not getting any bigger for now and the prednisone is keeping the Histio at bay so I'm doing ok yet. I need to get fitted for a wheelchair and I'm really not happy about that but I can't use the cane or the walker because of my hands being so painful and the fact that I can't hold onto them tight enough, much less balance myself. I keep falling left and they still don't understand that either, So another brain scan it is... fun, fun. Said something about dye in my nerves??? The Docs were talking amongst themselves and that's what I overheard. Who knows, I just want to be fixed, that's all.
Thank god for computer chairs with wheels. The best invention ever made! Besides velcro and duct tape! :)

PS. I did get the bestest present from Harmony too! My name, Framma, in Gold Glitter! We pretty much all had glitter on us because there was so much glue and glitter and it was still wet and glitter was falling all over the place but I thought it was the very best present ever! :)

Our Birthdays

Harmony had her Birthday party at the hotel Saturday. I couldn't tell you who all the kids and parents were because they all moved too fast for Angie to tell me who they all were!  That didn't matter though. The kids had a blast swimming and eating junk food and juice and running up and down the stairs to the two water slides!  Every time a kid yelled "Watch me!!"....every head in the pool area turned! They had a huge audience and took full advantage of it too! There were other kids there with their parents and they got in on the party too. That was one rocking pool, let me tell ya! It's a good thing they make you keep the food and drinks in the rooms though or those kids would have destroyed that pool room! LOL
For a whole room full of 2 to 6 yr olds running the place they all shared and watched out for each other pretty good. No big owies or fights or anything :)

Harmony will be here tomorrow for my Birthday! Or as she calls it...the big 5 - 0 day! Obviously she's been hearing her mother talk! lol She's been telling me all weekend what a big surprise she has for me and that she is making me the best present any grandma will ever get in the whole world! I can't wait to see it. Heck. I'll be amazed that she remembers to make it! LOL
I hate it when she's at her dad's house. She tries to make things for her mom or me and he won't help her or let her get out the glue and glitter and all the girly stuff she needs to make a mess, oops I mean pretty things for us. The man has no patience for her when it comes to girl things....just wait until she gets her period. Shit is gonna hit the fan and if he doesn't try to understand her at 6 yrs old, he sure as hell won't understand her at 12!! And I'm gonna laugh right in his face when he asks my daughter where he went wrong! LOL He's one of those guys that already KNOWS everything and God forbid you try to help him raise his daughter....
Harmony won't be here for the weekend though and that bums me out :( We got to have her the last 2, maybe 3 weekends in a row and I got spoiled having her anytime I wanted her. I will miss her swinging her little legs to the left of me on my desk and telling me her outlandish little stories that make no sense.

But tomorrow is my Birthday and I get to have whatever I want and I want my Harmony from after school until bedtime and that's what I will get for my present. I don't care if I get anything else. Her hugs and kisses and stories will have to last me awhile because she has to go back to her dad's the next day and it bums me out. Monday is a long ways away to see her again.
Divorce sucks for kids. I wish her Dad wasn't such an asshole and I wish I didn't have to pretend to be nice to him when Harmony's around.... She will figure out in her own due time what a prick he really is though. No one will have to tell her that. She will figure it out all on her own. But if  she ever asks me for the truth of why her parents got divorced I will not lie to her or cover it up and make it sound good either. I'll tell her right out what a hateful, mean, monster her dad really is and that he should have spent more time in jail for what he did. Providing she at an age that she can understand it.

But anyhow, I got sidetracked- that happens when you turn 50 I guess! LOL

Wow!

I was reading over my blog just now and man, talk about depressing!
Winter sucks, my life sucks but geez, it's really not all that bad.
I guess I was just using this blog as more of a sounding board for my bitchin' than for writing about the good stuff. I'll have to improve on that and show people the better side of myself.  I'm really not this depressed sour faced old lady that sits around feeling sorry for herself but there are days that I just have to bitch or not make it through the day. lol

What I really need to learn to do is to post pictures on this blog. Then it'll really come alive, I think...
Anyone willing to teach me? I want a few pictures on the right side there >>> and some in my actual posts.

Just slap me!

 SOME DAYS I LOOK AT HOW STUPID YOU ARE AND I JUST WANNA SLAP MYSELF!!

I cannot for the life of me understand how stupid people survive in this world. How the fuck can they get by without someone slapping the hell out of them for being so ignorant? Now, I'm not talking about handicapped people here. Not at all. I know handicapped people that are smarter than some people that have nothing mentally wrong with them! (Or so they say....)

These people, I mean, have no common sense. No street smarts. No sense of time. No money sense. They just don't make sense! I just wanna slap myself! LOL 

No sense of time, of being late, of being ON time to a job every day. Of just BEING somewhere every day, period!  Of what it is to even hold a job!

Hell, for them to be on time for anything is amazing!

Even the homeless people know where to get the good food but they have to be on time or they miss out!

They surely can't hold onto a dollar, even if that's the LAST dollar they will have until payday and they need that dollar to ride the bus to their job on Monday and they will spend it on a dam candy bar on Friday!! 

If your kid needs diapers or your dog needs food, don't you stay out of the bars to be able to afford the things your kids need? You don't go out and live it up while your kid sits in shitty pants and your dog starves right before your eyes right?! 

That's just ignorance! And you can't tell me their momma and daddy raised them that way and don't know any better! Fuck that. Common sense tells you to feed your dog and get the shit off your kids ass! 

I just can't believe how stupid you are.....just slap me and get it over with....

 

 

 

Crazy

Please don't tell me I drove you crazy when you were already within walking distance.

I set a record :)

I set a record today for the most days I have ever gone without dying. I plan on beating it again tomorrow. :)

A lesson

I was taught to never take things in this life for granted, to live it up a little bit, to love with everything I have, and to NEVER EVER give up!

Today is an 8 almost a 9

THIS IS MY MONDAY POST THAT I THOUGHT I LOST!! i FOUND IT! I'M SO STOKED!!


Today is an 8....yep on a scale of one to ten, today's pain level is an eight almost a nine. It sucks bad. I had to be at the Hospital at 9 am to see the doc first, before all the craziness started. I happened to pass him in the hallway and he smiled that half cocky smile at me and nodded but I wasn't quite in a 'good morning' kind of mood so I just ignored him. I was too busy concentrating on getting my ass into the nearest chair before I burst into tears. I asked the nurse if she was bringing me to the farthest room she could find and she said, "Yep, I think so" all cheery like.....I swear, if I would have been closer, and I could have let go of the wall, I would have slapped her up side the dam head! Pisses me off how these nurses walk like 20 miles an hour in front of you, all perky and shit and you're barley hobbling along hanging onto the wall for dear life, trying to see where the hell they went around the next corner! I know, I should have gotten a wheelchair in the lobby but I'm still too dam proud for that yet!
So the nurse does the usual lame nurse shit then leaves and the doc takes what seems like forever to show up! So I'm rubbing my legs, trying hard not to cry and wondering if I have enough time for a nap on the bed thingy they have in the room.....rub my hands together and massage them a bit, pick my nose, rub my legs, clean my fingernails, rub my legs, grab a magazine and read some lame ass story about some lady that had 6 kids in 5 yrs and how she's crying about not having enough time blah blah blah....shut your dam legs lady!! Rub my legs some more and finally the doc comes in and says "Boy, don't you look good today." I said, "Boy, are you ever a liar!" and I wasn't smiling!

So he says, all serious and stuff......let's start with the head.... how's that going. Told him the migraines are a better and not so harsh and if I lay down I can usually get rid of them and they don't last for days and days now. I can handle a headache. New drugs are working, yay me!
But I keep falling to the left, with or without a migraine/headache and I'm more off balance than before and fall easier and if I get bumped or start to feel off balance, it seems I always go to the left. Then he asked me which wall I held onto on the way here? I looked at him really weird and said..."You know, it was the left wall...why?" He just wrote something in his chicken scratch and wouldn't tell me but I didn't like the look on his face. I asked him again and he says he will find out soon enough, whatever that means.
So he went through the usual Fibro questions and pushing on the tender spots and I asked if he was trying to kill me.  He looked really serious and said, I'm really not touching you that hard and I really don't mean to hurt you but you're just that flared up right now...I just need to know this stuff....I'm really sorry if it hurts. So of course I cried....he didn't have to hurt me, he could have pointed and I could have told him it fucking HURTS. RIGHT. THERE., do not touch me!
So we moved onto the Peripheral Neuropathy...that was just as ugly. More pokes and pain and tears. I really hate this shit! My legs hurt dammit, why make me walk? My hands are numb and painful inside, why make me squeeze your hand? I know I have to but dammit, it hurts me!! I can't even light a lighter or button a button, hell my kid had to zip up my jacket so I could get to my dam appointment today without freezing!!
He asked me to describe the burning when I walk or stand....I said well take burning red golf balls, throw them in your shoes, now walk on ice picks poking on angles. His eyes got really big. He asked how they feel when I'm not walking..burning hot on the inside, freezing cold on the outside, sometimes, cramped, stabbing pains shooting through in random places, tingly like when your foot starts to wake back up and you wanna smack it and it hurts. I guess he heard enough of my descriptions cuz he didn't ask about any more areas... He should have asked, my legs are a bit different.... maybe he will next time.

The Hole

Harmony is standing next to Papa looking up the hole that used to be the stairway, where  eventually the elevator will go. Whatever Papa does, Harmony mocks him. Papa knocks on a wall, looking for a stud,  Harmony knocks on a wall.....Papa measures, Harmony measures.
There are heat ducts towards the floor that need to be moved and Papa isn't quite sure which way to move them so he's thinking pretty hard with his hand on his chin and just answering Harmony nonchalantly.
She questions every little thing, why do we have to move this wall, why can't we move that one, how about we hang a rope over here Papa and let Phil swing down? How will Framma get up that wall? Will it be my job to keep Canon out of the elevator? Framma says it has glass doors, will they get broken?
Papa is nodding and mumbling his answers to her and finally she gets mad! She stands up on the duct work, grabs his face and says PAPA! Listen to me! Wouldn't it just be easier to put in a slide?!?!"

Here is the picture of "the Hole"... The heat duct Harmony stood on towards the bottom and the door up at the top of the picture where the top of the elevator will be. Under the heat duct at the floor and sort of in front of it is where the new pipe has to go for the toilet that will eventually go to the bathroom in our bedroom...

Harmony has a meltdown

Phil told Ron to take a pic of Harmony while she was having a meltdown so we can show her future boyfriends. She says 'stop worrying about my boyfriends, I don't have one anymore!'

Harmonyism via her Mom

Harmonyism: 'Mom, you need to come look and tell me if I have the poopers.' I said that if you look and it looks runny then it is the poopers. She says, 'Mom, I'm not looking at my poop, you do it. You can wipe my butt too!'

Updates and stuff

Ben hasn't made it to FL yet. The guy whom I thought was pretty decent...turned out to be a druggie after my pain meds! Tons of excuses and more lies and red flags and I just wasn't about to send my dog to FL with some guy that would do illegal drugs to stay awake to get my dog down to Fl. Period!.
Maria and I will find another way to get Ben to her in FL. This just wasn't the time nor the right way for him to go right now....things will work out. They always do.

As for the Elevator...well it's here! lol
That thing is HEAVY!! The part where the car goes up and down weighs a LOT! Takes 6 guys to move it with two moving dollies! Now we have to get a crew together to try and get this 11 foot thing standing upright into the hole where the stairs used to be and get then get the car put together and all the wires and stuff hooked up. Come to find out that elevator is worth over $10,000 and this woman gave it to us for free! And all she has asked us in return is for a picture of Phil and I in the elevator :) This lady is incredible!

As for me...I'm a mess. My hips,legs and feet are so bad that I can hardly walk. The burning, throbbing, stabbing,  tingling, cramping...you name it, it's happening in there.  The meds wear off before it's time for another one so I sit here and rub my legs for an hour and take some lame other med before I can take the "big one" again. If I take too many "big ones"  too often I'll puke my guts out and they will be useless... so I suffer. I see the Neuro on Monday and he should be able to get me some new meds for all these new symptoms. Man this stuff is moving fast to the center of my body. Way faster than anything I've read about or the Doctor had told me.Thank goodness for computer chairs with wheels! :)
Tonight my hands are not so bad but my elbows are tender..My face hurts but I slapped on a few pain patches and those are seeming to work on that pain.

Harmony and I got to have our sleepover but it didn't go as planned. I hurt too bad to be much fun but she did get to play "Paint" on the computer, we looked stuff up and sang some songs on youtube and she got to snuggle up with me in bed and had no accidents :) She's still talking about King Martin Luther but she told me we have to look him up next time....she got tired. lol

I'll have to see how my hands feel tomorrow too...I'm getting pretty tired myself here... g-nite :)

People wake up!

I was in utter shock this morning when Human Control showed up at my door! They said they received a report of a frozen human in the back yard. Sure enough, I went outside, and there you were frozen dead! I know it was -8 degrees with a windchill of -20, but c'mon! You had straw to lay on! I even threw a blanket out there for you!!! Was the tarp not shelter enough? Thanks for getting me in trouble. From: The Dog

Papa

LMAO!!! I was just filling out a form that asked if I had any peculiar characteristics...so I asked my husband if I had any and he said "Yeah. You have two assholes. One that you crap out of and one that pays the bills."

Falling behind

I have so much to write and my hands just can't do it right now.....I'll try harder to get something written tomorrow.
The pain has reached my hips now. So Not cool!

Strength

Strength is not in discovering weakness and cutting it from your body - strength is discovering weakness and learning to turn it into something useful. It's recognizing temptation, and turning it into motivation. It's stepping forward when you want to turn and run. It's admitting responsibility for yourself and the things you have chosen to do and say.

It gets better

God didn't bring you this far just to drop you off. It gets better, you are not even close to where you are going yet :)

Martin King Junior

Harmony came home from school Monday, all excited to have learned about Martin Luther King Junior. Except she couldn't get his name right... Now just imagine Harmony sitting on the top of my desk off to the left side all excited about a guy she really knows nothing about, spit flying in my face, and her little arms waving all over the place, with her eyes opened wide and she's serious about this....WAY serious!
So Harmony starts telling me about Martin King Junior and how he was a good man and he let the brown kids ride anywhere they wanted to on the bus and the white kids couldn't boss the brown kids around anymore! The brown kids didn't have to ride in the back of the bus no more! They could drink out of the bubblers at school and even hold  hands if they wanted to and no one could get mad at them! Martin Luther made the Law and no one could break the law or they would go to jail. She kept telling me what a good man he was and then she pipes up with this "And then you know what Framma?, some white kids shot him, shot that brown guy DEAD!" Her eyes were wide open too! Like she just couldn't believe it!!  So I had to ask her which brown guy got dead and she says "Martin King Luther Framma, weren't you paying attention??"  I say "OH, that's right!, why did they shoot him" and she says, "Because he was a good guy!" I told her that didn't make sense and she told me that she will never be a good guy cuz she don't wanna get shot! What the heck am I supposed to say to that?? LOL
Then she starts telling me about playing in her new snowsuit and how warm it was and how fun the snow is and that she made sledding hills for when her friends come to play this weekend and then out of the blue she says....."Framma, did the black kids ride ON the back of the bus??" I dam near peed my pants!!! hahaha! I couldn't help it! She was not impressed! :P

I sent her upstairs to eat supper and told her I would call when I was ready for her to come back down to play. So I called around 7 ish and we made plans for the weekend. She'll be back from her dad's on Thursday at 7 pm and had already made a plan for a sleepover at my house! Geez, so nice to be informed of this eh? So I guess she's having a girls night with me and Olivia and we're renting Home Alone 2 and Toy Story 3. Then we have to make microwave popcorn and cookies (I'm gonna BUY the cookies) and get Cheetos and chips and dip and crackers and cheese. I told her we get to stay up until 11 and I won't tell mom we stayed up past her bed time and she thought I was the best granny in the world again! :) even though I know she won't make it past 9! No worries, she has no school on Friday :P
Being the best person in her world just ROCKS. She thinks she gets away with so much good stuff and in reality she gets away with nothing. But I love being the best thing in her tiny little world even if it's just for a sleepover! :)

The Elevator

Phil had a lady in Milwaukee donate an elevator to him for free! Yes, a real live elevator! I'm so stoked! Papa went down to Milwaukee to help the guys take it apart today so that he will know how to put it back together when it comes up here. Not sure when that will be, but it will be soon. Now if it storms and a tornado brews up, Phil can come down here and he will be safe! And when it comes my time to be in a wheelchair, I can still live here and take the elevator up and get out of the house through Angie's house and down the ramp. I was afraid I would have to move because I couldn't get out of the house by myself and up the stairwells to get out. Now my prayers have been answered and I don't have to go! Whoohoo!! See, I knew with all this bad, some good can still come out of it all! :)
OH! We will be putting the elevator where the stairwell is that is in the middle-ish of the house. Phil will be able to come down to our house and visit with us and have dinner and stuff too. This will be SO cool! I'm so excited! And our other friends that are in chairs can come visit us too with no problems! :)
Oh crap! That means I'll have to clean my house before they come over now huh! Dam, there's always a catch isn't there? LMAO

Explode, Implode or Erupt?

Explode:
1). to cause to explode or burst noisily
2). to burst violently as a result of pressure from within 
3). to suddenly break apart in a violent way with parts flying outward
4). to burst forth with sudden violence or noise from internal energy
Implode:
1). to burst inward
2), to collapse inward in a very sudden and violent way 
3). to collapse inward as if from external pressure
4). to break down or fall apart from within

Erupt:
1).to burst from limits or restraint
2).to force out or release suddenly and often violently something (as lava or steam) that is pent up 
3).to become active or violent especially suddenly : break forth
4).to force out or release usually suddenly and violently

I was laying in bed most of today wondering how I could explain to the doctors what it actually feels like when my face migraines and headaches hit me. What words could I use so they could  KNOW how it feels from my point of view? These three words kept coming up over and over again... Implode, erupt and explode. 
Pretty tough words, I think, but how else do you explain what it feels like to have someone shove a foot long ice pick through your tooth and up into your nose and up through the top of your head? That's explosive don't ya think?  
How about when your head feels like its stuck in a vice and someone just keeps on cranking that lever tighter and tighter and you can't stop it and it feels like your head will implode any minute and it feels like your whole head will cave in on itself? How else do you explain that but to say it feels like it will implode?
And what about the days that you have so much pressure in your head that you want to drill a hole, for real, right into the top of your head and release that pressure and make your head erupt because you just can't take it anymore. Or stab an ice pick into your sinuses because to erupt that massive pressure bubble in your head has GOT to feel so much better than you feel right now! 
To be able to do anything to relieve that burning, stabbing, searing pain in your face and head and get any sort of relief from that is like a miracle to me and no one seems to understand that. How do you explain that to people and then the next words out of their mouth are "But you look good".... What the fuck?? Why do I bother......
And they wonder why the suicide rate for this is so dam high.

A Time To Believe

To believe is to know that
every day is a new beginning.
Is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come true.


To believe is to see angels
dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.


To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.


To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies within us
When it's time to pick up
the pieces and begin again.


To believe is to know
we are not alone,
That life is a gift
and this is our time to cherish it.


To believe is to know
that wonderful surprises are just
waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.


If only we believe.


Copyright © B.J. Morbitzer. All rights reserved.

Olivia

Olivia has figured out that my head and legs hurt and I can't stand for very long and that I sleep at weird times during the day. I just lay down and take a power nap! Sometimes I just get so exhausted I gotta lay down, so I just cuddle up with the dogs and we're out for about an hour.  :) She still doesn't know how sick I am though. I can't seem to just tell her. I'm hoping one of the boys will say something to her and then she will come to me and then I can explain it to her. I don't know....this is just weird to me. I don't feel like I owe her an explanation ya know? I mean , I put a roof over her head and stuff  but does she really need to know my personal stuff too? I don't know, just gonna play it by ear....

Sleep overs and showers

Harmony came flying down the stairs last night crying her poor eyes out, gasping for air and fell into my lap! You would have thought the world ended but in reality, her little friend Hanna didn't want to sleep over. Hanna is only 4 1/2 and not quite as 'worldly' as Harmony being a bum and staying at other people's houses for sleep overs. And last night was no different with Hanna not wanting to stay without her brother, Mason, or her mommy, Kayla. So I sort of calmed her down and sent her back up the stairs with Ron and 2 minutes after she got up there, she was on the phone calling me and asking if she could stay down here with us. Of course she was more than welcome! :)
So this morning at 7:15 am, there she is, bright eyed and bushy tailed racing me to the potty to pee! 
Then of course we need to take a shower and I tell her I was going to take a shower all by myself and hog all the water and that she can jump in when I'm done. I couldn't believe she fell for it! So I take my shower and call her into the bathroom and she's stripped naked in 2.3 seconds and into the water before I could blink! I wish she could undress that fast when it was time to get ready for bed! So while I'm getting dressed she says "Framma, which bottle do I use to wash up with?" I tell her the blue bottle in the corner. So she pours about a quarter of a bottle of BODY WASH on her head and there's a billion bubbles running down her naked little body and she flips open the shower curtain and says "Check it out, I look like an old Granny!" and flung the shower curtain back! So as she's rinsing her hair she says "Fram, can I pee in the water?" I say "I'd rather you pee in the toilet"...she says" Too late, it's already running down my legs"  So I just tell her that next time, I want her to pee in the toilet....  So she asks me what soap to use to wash her body with and I tell her to use Papas soap cuz it will make her skin all nice and softy.... she whips that curtain wide open and says "Are you kidding me? Boy's soap stinks!" So as she's flooding my floor, I had to prove to her that Papa's soap smells good and that its really does make skin feel softy!  Well that went over well, too well actually, I had to give her a brand new, extra bottle of Papa's soap, that I had so she could bring it upstairs for herself. Then it hits her and she says "You let me wash my hair with BODY soap!?" I said "Well that's what you asked for, how did I know you were gonna wash your hair?" and she looked at me dead in the eyes and says, "Everyone knows you wash your hair FIRST Framma, or did no one ever teach you that!? "  I laughed and she told me it was NOT funny....so I laughed even harder! LOL
Papa started making breakfast and Harmony starts to set the table. of course she grabs a plate for herself, then asks if she gets to eat down here too. I told her that her mom probably misses her by now and that her mom is probably making her breakfast too. Harmony looks right at Papa and says "You know Papa, my Mom knows right where I am and you know she's not gonna feed me". Papa and I cracked up laughing and I said "You know your mother feeds you!" And she says. "But Papa cooks so much better Framma!" LOL
Now we're waiting for some friends of ours to come pick up Hollister for a trial run at their house to see how he gets along with the kids and cats. I'm gonna miss that lil fart but he'll be the only dog and get lots more attention there than he gets here. So we'll see how it goes....

On this day God wants you to know...

On this day, God wants you to know
... that family is not a name for a group of people, but the quality of relationships between them. Relationships grounded in mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness. In all the ups and all the downs of life. Look closely, - who is really your family, and who in truth are just strangers in for the ...ride?

My real family isn't around. They don't care. Oh they pretend to give a shit. But when push comes to shove, they don't care.  My siblings are out there somewhere, absorbed in their own lives and I'm better off without them and their drama. 

I have my husband and our own kids that will stand by me always and forever, what more can I want?

Plus! I have the best friends any person could ask for. They give me their best times, their worst times and their messiest times and I love them with all their hearts! Yes, THEIR hearts!  They are my family. Not blood of my blood but the real blood that keeps my heart pumping and my anger subdued and keeps me out of jail! They're the ones that will pick me up out of a puddle of puke and feed me when I can't feed myself. The ones that will stop by to make me laugh even when all I can do that day is cry.  They will carry me when I can't walk and hold me up when I'm too weak to sit. They'll listen to my smart ass remarks and never let me get away with too much shit before they give it right back to me. 

Yes, these guys are my family, these crazy men and women that drive each other crazy and act like lunatics in public and embarrass the hell out of each other. We all have different quirks about each of us that drives each other nuts but we just accept them as they are and move on. No one gives a rats ass if Phil can't feed himself, we just shove food in his mouth or Terry has seizures or I can't make plans cuz I never know if I'll hurt too much that day or that I'm the crazy dog lady, or that Ryan can't hear you, or that Angie's Fibro is kicking her ass that day and we all get to watch the kids for her and take care of Phil. And when we really hurt, we can call Kayla and her magic fingers will fix any muscle in your body (except THAT one) lol We just hang out and take care of each other and each others kids. Get everyone to where they gotta go and get them what they gotta get ie: meds, bathed, fed, dressed and make sure everyone's taken care of. THAT'S what a family does.  And we're all pretty dam good at it too.

Dear Doctors. Dear Doctors:

So this is it?? This is all you can tell me? Peripheral Neuropathy - Fibromyalgia - Histiocytosis X - Restless Leg Syndrome- Trigeminal Neuralgia-Asthma- Degenerative Joint Disease- Depression- Facial Migraines and Daily Headaches and some lesions growing on my central nerve and on my Trigeminal Nerve and a boatload of other things that are wrong with me and you doctors have the balls to tell me it's going to get worse from here? No really? Do you think you're trying to scare me asshole?? Like I haven't been through enough? Yea, so what? I'm scared but not enough to give up yet. You just piss me off is what you do to me, that's all. Don't hand me another shitload of drugs and send me home, god dammit, FIX ME!! You sit there like a bunch of know-it-all bastards and then can't answer a simple question that I ask of you. My granddaughter can ask me a question and if I don't know the answer for her, I will work on it until I find one suitable to her age level to answer it for her so she understands it. How fucking hard can it be? Isn't it your  JOB to answer things for me? To tell me what the hell is going on with me and to be able to tell me what happens next? Don't push me off on some other doctor for the answer. Don't be some chicken shit that doesn't want to tell me I'm gonna die. I already know that's coming. I just want to know what I gotta do to prevent that from happening too soon dammit. I have things to DO until then! Lots of things to do and if you're gonna interfere with my plans, then I don't have time to listen to your horseshit and waste my time with you. Don't tell me to go home and wait...I'm not gonna do that. I have a garden to grow and grandbabies to help raise. I have dogs to save and a Husband to take care of. I have grown kids that need my direction and a huge ass house to clean! If you think all this shit's gonna get done by drugging me up into a zombie, well think again asshole, that's not gonna work for me either. If I'm gonna have to LIVE with all these diseases and pain then it's your job to see to it that I do so as comfortably as I can and as coherent as I can. I don't want to miss a day of my life and its your job to see that my wishes are met. If you're not up for the challenge then back out now because you'll be in for a hell of a ride with me. I don't give up and I don't give in and I sure as hell am not afraid to fire your ass!! Bring it on Pork Chop...I'm ready to fight!!

Poor Papa

Papa is sick.... darn big head cold that is "draining out his brain" , his quote, not mine. lol
All he wants to do is sleep, which is fine by me, he needs to. He took the rest of the week off work so he can rest. Harmony still isn't feeling the best...I wonder if her dad made her go to school today. Baby Canon is in a really good, silly mood today. Dancing, giggly and wiggly ... probably a good thing because Angie has today off and she needs a rest too. Poor Angie has 35 cysts on one ovary and 22 on the other. You would think after the hysterectomy that things would knock it off on 'mommyland' but no such luck for one of my kids... I think they'll be taking out the left ovary after all, if not both soon. But to have to take hormone pills at 26 is really gonna suck . Poor kid. I just want the pain to stop for her. I've been there, done that and I fought to get my surgery done, there's no reason she needs to suffer for as long as I did.
Today's pain levels are really high for me today. My face is pounding with a headache sitting on the edge waiting to spill over and get me. My hands can't do anything but type with 2 fingers...like I always do. :P I couldn't open up one of those little juice cans. I can barely feel the dam thing much less grab the lil tab thing with 2 fingers and pull it! My thighs and ass cheeks are freezing cold and my thighs hurt like someone beat the shit out of me and just keep slugging me in a new spot every half hour just to make sure I still feel the pain. My feet are all tingly hot and my knees feel like they wanna bend the wrong way so I don't trust myself to walk if I don't have to. Papa got the walker out for me in case I wanted to use it and I just looked at it and cried. I'm not ready for that shit yet. I'll fucking crawl first!

Good thing Ben didn't leave for FL today...It would have been a hell of a ride to get him to Green Bay for me and Papa today but we would have done it..... Ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes and sometimes it just sucks donkey dick.

I wish I could figure out how to post pictures on this blog.... my brain is too loopy to figure it out today though. Meds suck. Especially because the dam things don't seem to work, they just take the edge off. Now I know why people go postal.

And the past comes back to visit....

I knew her and her Dad for a few years.... the little blonde girl Olivia, and her daddy Ralph, fighting like crazy to get custody of her and doing everything the courts and social service people told him to do and even doing some parenting classes and things they didn't even ask him to do, just so he could see his little girl. She was about 5 or 6 at the time and just starting school and then Olivia moved away with her mom and I didn't get to see her anymore. Fast forward 15 yrs.... a mutual friend of ours Ron died. Our old dart throwing partner and drinking buddy brought us all back together again. Not that any of us drinks much anymore, but we're still friends...... we just don't hang out like we used to in the "old days" lol. Well Olivia needed someone to watch her dogs for 4 months until she finished school. Ralph got a hold of me and I got a hold of Olivia and now she's moving in here with her two dogs for the next 4 months so she can save up some money to buy a car. What are the chances of that? We haven't seen her for all this time and now she's right here, moving her stuff in tonight and finishing her schooling and letting us help her out! Well, shes not "letting us" she's being very stubborn about things, but I'll win in the end... LOL I told her she needed to buy slippers because my floors are cement and are cold but she didn't want to so I told her I was buying them so then she REALLY didn't want to get any, so I made her get some anyhow! lol She finally agreed that after a few hours that her feet were cold and needed to put on her slippers....silly kid! Mothers DO know best! Now to get her driving permit, graduated and a car ro drive and she will be on her merry way.
The only thing I see a problem with is telling her how sick I am and that she needs to help me...I seemed to have left that part out on purpose .... God forgive me.... she was too excited about being here and stuff that I couldn't ruin it for her. I hope I can find the right words tomorrow.

Sick of all the sick

Seems like everyone's sick again....
Poor Harmony has that virus that I had the past 6 weeks. I hope she doesn't get the infections in her chest and head too. That was/is some awful shit going around!

Benson should be leaving for FL this week. Maria is gonna love this dog. I'm gonna be lost without him... I took this skinny 36 pound, beaten down, full grown German Shepherd and made him into a confident, big mouthed kid with a heart of gold! Last night he snuggled up as close as he could get to me. My belly to his back and stayed there all night. I felt that heart beat on my arm all through the night and it made me feel so safe knowing that if anything made a strange noise in the night, Ben's head would spring up and listen ever so close and try to figure out the noise, before he sounded the alarm, so as not to wake me up in case it was a false alarm. When I got up to go pee, he would follow me to the potty, wait for me and escort me back to bed, let me get settled back in, then hop back into his spot and snuggle back into me. He would kiss my hand a few times in that lil soft way of his, as if to tell me goodnight again and he would drift off to sleep, protecting me from the sounds of the night.
 Goodbye Ben...if I don't let you go now, before I get really sick, I'll never want to let you go and you'll never want to leave my side. (You don't want to leave me the way it is now). It's time we part ways and for you to start a new life buddy...... I'll miss you more than you'll ever know.

Today I can't feel my legs from the knees down. I can feel the insides,, feels all tingly like they fell asleep, just can't  feel the outsides. This PN stuff is very weird shit and I'm not liking it one bit. I stepped on a needle and didn't know it 'til I sat down with my leg crossed under me and poked myself with the other end of it in my opposite thigh! I gotta watch this shit, I could get a serious infection and not even know it! My feet feel like I'm walking on burning hot golf balls again today and my hands don't wanna work. Poor Harmony tried to paint my fingernails a dark purple and my hands were shaking so bad that she asked Papa where the duct tape was so she could tape my hands to the kitchen table ! LOL I had so much polish on my left hand that it was dripping off but she insisted that it was just fine and I didn't know what I was talking about!....then she put on another coat!! OMG my hands are trashed! Yes, I left it on and yes, I wore this dark purple shit on my hands when I took Ben to the vet today! They were impressed that I left it on my hands! I was impressed that I wasn't stuck to the wall in my kitchen! LMAO Harm says she'll fix it for me tomorrow....To tell you the truth...I'm kinda scared...

Test Test

I tried to post a picture here. Obviously it didn't work.... I'll figure it our one day....

OMG I did it!!! WHOOHOO! There's no stopping me now! LOL This is Harmony's graduation from 4 K (Four yr old kindergarden)

Another day on the edge of a face migraine. I really hate these days. Nothing gets done, no one gets to spend quality time together and all because I feel like shit. Papa is making meatloaf for supper so I can at least eat tonight without feeling like my face is gonna blow up. 
Harmony, my little 5 yr old (almost 6) granddaughter will be home tomorrow after school with a bunch of new stories to tell me about her last few days at her dad's house and I would really hate to have to tell her to wait to tell me tomorrow, because Framma's head hurts too bad to listen to her. Nothing breaks my heart more than to see that little girl's eyes hurting when she knows I'm in big time pain again and we can't play. Of course I try to hide it but she always seems to see right through me and will try to take care of me like a little mommy herself. So on the really bad days, we just cuddle up and talk about anything and everything that a little girl can think of and make up funny words and she will pretend to read me books, even though she says she's reading them for REAL....she really just has them all memorized!
On the good days, we'll look stuff up on the internet like the colors of frogs and what the insides of trains look like and what happens to bad guys when they go to jail. Anything she wants to know about, ANYTHING! Framma will find an answer for her and most times, she will help me figure it out. She thinks I'm the smartest old lady in the whole wide world! lol. I won't lie to her, ever...even if she asks me about Santa Claus. I may skirt around the answer but I refuse to out right lie to her. I think it's very important for her to have that bond with me.
For instance, this past xmas we were talking about how Santa was going to get the presents into our house. I need to describe out house for you to understand this...Papa and I kind of live in the ground.
Our house is a split level duplex of sorts but it has a stairway with doors that goes from upstairs to downstairs from the middle of the house. Papa, Framma (me) and our 25 yr old son Ryan live downstairs in 2114 sq ft, 4 br , 1 bath, kitchen, living room etc....a whole house is down here with big windows in every room AND a fireplace! Upstairs in their own 2114 sq ft of house with their own living room, kitchen, 2 bath, 4 br and a wheelchair ramp but NO fireplace...lives Harmony age 5, Her baby brother, Canon 9 months old, her mom Angie, age 26, Angie's boyfriend Ron, and Phil, a quadriplegic
that is a live in client and Angie's full time job.
Papa and I don't celebrate xmas. Santa doesn't come to our house. Santa comes to Harmony's house though and she never questioned this set up of ours until this year. So she wanted to know how the presents were going to get into our house.  So I told her that Santa is afraid of our dogs ( 2 German Sheps, 2 Rotts, 2 Chi's, one Pit Bull and a Great Pyr) so he won't coming into my house. I told her that I think he could just use the wheelchair ramp instead of the fireplace! Well, she wasn't gonna fall for that. She's sitting on my desk right in front of me....grabs my face and says, "just say it Framma!" I said "Just say what?"  And she tells me..."Just say you were naughty and he ain't gonna come to YOUR house!"
Yup, that's my Harmony and one of her Harmonyisms....
Never afraid to say what she thinks...just like her Framma :)

Resolutions

2.
I will try to ask for help, patiently, from others without being bossy and demanding. I will remember that they also have a life and that the world does not revolve around me and my needs...

3.
I will continue to have fun through my pain...except for a migraine.

4.
I will try to tolerate my Mother In law for one more year. Just walk away........

5.
I will eat better, live better, listen to the doctors better (lol) and play outside more. I will try my hardest not to fall asleep in the middle of my prayers at night and try to be more patient.

6.
I will survive to see 2012 and I will not kill anyone in the process.