The Hole

Harmony is standing next to Papa looking up the hole that used to be the stairway, where  eventually the elevator will go. Whatever Papa does, Harmony mocks him. Papa knocks on a wall, looking for a stud,  Harmony knocks on a wall.....Papa measures, Harmony measures.
There are heat ducts towards the floor that need to be moved and Papa isn't quite sure which way to move them so he's thinking pretty hard with his hand on his chin and just answering Harmony nonchalantly.
She questions every little thing, why do we have to move this wall, why can't we move that one, how about we hang a rope over here Papa and let Phil swing down? How will Framma get up that wall? Will it be my job to keep Canon out of the elevator? Framma says it has glass doors, will they get broken?
Papa is nodding and mumbling his answers to her and finally she gets mad! She stands up on the duct work, grabs his face and says PAPA! Listen to me! Wouldn't it just be easier to put in a slide?!?!"

Here is the picture of "the Hole"... The heat duct Harmony stood on towards the bottom and the door up at the top of the picture where the top of the elevator will be. Under the heat duct at the floor and sort of in front of it is where the new pipe has to go for the toilet that will eventually go to the bathroom in our bedroom...

Harmony has a meltdown

Phil told Ron to take a pic of Harmony while she was having a meltdown so we can show her future boyfriends. She says 'stop worrying about my boyfriends, I don't have one anymore!'

Harmonyism via her Mom

Harmonyism: 'Mom, you need to come look and tell me if I have the poopers.' I said that if you look and it looks runny then it is the poopers. She says, 'Mom, I'm not looking at my poop, you do it. You can wipe my butt too!'

Updates and stuff

Ben hasn't made it to FL yet. The guy whom I thought was pretty decent...turned out to be a druggie after my pain meds! Tons of excuses and more lies and red flags and I just wasn't about to send my dog to FL with some guy that would do illegal drugs to stay awake to get my dog down to Fl. Period!.
Maria and I will find another way to get Ben to her in FL. This just wasn't the time nor the right way for him to go right now....things will work out. They always do.

As for the Elevator...well it's here! lol
That thing is HEAVY!! The part where the car goes up and down weighs a LOT! Takes 6 guys to move it with two moving dollies! Now we have to get a crew together to try and get this 11 foot thing standing upright into the hole where the stairs used to be and get then get the car put together and all the wires and stuff hooked up. Come to find out that elevator is worth over $10,000 and this woman gave it to us for free! And all she has asked us in return is for a picture of Phil and I in the elevator :) This lady is incredible!

As for me...I'm a mess. My hips,legs and feet are so bad that I can hardly walk. The burning, throbbing, stabbing,  tingling, cramping...you name it, it's happening in there.  The meds wear off before it's time for another one so I sit here and rub my legs for an hour and take some lame other med before I can take the "big one" again. If I take too many "big ones"  too often I'll puke my guts out and they will be useless... so I suffer. I see the Neuro on Monday and he should be able to get me some new meds for all these new symptoms. Man this stuff is moving fast to the center of my body. Way faster than anything I've read about or the Doctor had told me.Thank goodness for computer chairs with wheels! :)
Tonight my hands are not so bad but my elbows are tender..My face hurts but I slapped on a few pain patches and those are seeming to work on that pain.

Harmony and I got to have our sleepover but it didn't go as planned. I hurt too bad to be much fun but she did get to play "Paint" on the computer, we looked stuff up and sang some songs on youtube and she got to snuggle up with me in bed and had no accidents :) She's still talking about King Martin Luther but she told me we have to look him up next time....she got tired. lol

I'll have to see how my hands feel tomorrow too...I'm getting pretty tired myself here... g-nite :)

People wake up!

I was in utter shock this morning when Human Control showed up at my door! They said they received a report of a frozen human in the back yard. Sure enough, I went outside, and there you were frozen dead! I know it was -8 degrees with a windchill of -20, but c'mon! You had straw to lay on! I even threw a blanket out there for you!!! Was the tarp not shelter enough? Thanks for getting me in trouble. From: The Dog

Papa

LMAO!!! I was just filling out a form that asked if I had any peculiar characteristics...so I asked my husband if I had any and he said "Yeah. You have two assholes. One that you crap out of and one that pays the bills."

Falling behind

I have so much to write and my hands just can't do it right now.....I'll try harder to get something written tomorrow.
The pain has reached my hips now. So Not cool!

Strength

Strength is not in discovering weakness and cutting it from your body - strength is discovering weakness and learning to turn it into something useful. It's recognizing temptation, and turning it into motivation. It's stepping forward when you want to turn and run. It's admitting responsibility for yourself and the things you have chosen to do and say.

It gets better

God didn't bring you this far just to drop you off. It gets better, you are not even close to where you are going yet :)

Martin King Junior

Harmony came home from school Monday, all excited to have learned about Martin Luther King Junior. Except she couldn't get his name right... Now just imagine Harmony sitting on the top of my desk off to the left side all excited about a guy she really knows nothing about, spit flying in my face, and her little arms waving all over the place, with her eyes opened wide and she's serious about this....WAY serious!
So Harmony starts telling me about Martin King Junior and how he was a good man and he let the brown kids ride anywhere they wanted to on the bus and the white kids couldn't boss the brown kids around anymore! The brown kids didn't have to ride in the back of the bus no more! They could drink out of the bubblers at school and even hold  hands if they wanted to and no one could get mad at them! Martin Luther made the Law and no one could break the law or they would go to jail. She kept telling me what a good man he was and then she pipes up with this "And then you know what Framma?, some white kids shot him, shot that brown guy DEAD!" Her eyes were wide open too! Like she just couldn't believe it!!  So I had to ask her which brown guy got dead and she says "Martin King Luther Framma, weren't you paying attention??"  I say "OH, that's right!, why did they shoot him" and she says, "Because he was a good guy!" I told her that didn't make sense and she told me that she will never be a good guy cuz she don't wanna get shot! What the heck am I supposed to say to that?? LOL
Then she starts telling me about playing in her new snowsuit and how warm it was and how fun the snow is and that she made sledding hills for when her friends come to play this weekend and then out of the blue she says....."Framma, did the black kids ride ON the back of the bus??" I dam near peed my pants!!! hahaha! I couldn't help it! She was not impressed! :P

I sent her upstairs to eat supper and told her I would call when I was ready for her to come back down to play. So I called around 7 ish and we made plans for the weekend. She'll be back from her dad's on Thursday at 7 pm and had already made a plan for a sleepover at my house! Geez, so nice to be informed of this eh? So I guess she's having a girls night with me and Olivia and we're renting Home Alone 2 and Toy Story 3. Then we have to make microwave popcorn and cookies (I'm gonna BUY the cookies) and get Cheetos and chips and dip and crackers and cheese. I told her we get to stay up until 11 and I won't tell mom we stayed up past her bed time and she thought I was the best granny in the world again! :) even though I know she won't make it past 9! No worries, she has no school on Friday :P
Being the best person in her world just ROCKS. She thinks she gets away with so much good stuff and in reality she gets away with nothing. But I love being the best thing in her tiny little world even if it's just for a sleepover! :)

The Elevator

Phil had a lady in Milwaukee donate an elevator to him for free! Yes, a real live elevator! I'm so stoked! Papa went down to Milwaukee to help the guys take it apart today so that he will know how to put it back together when it comes up here. Not sure when that will be, but it will be soon. Now if it storms and a tornado brews up, Phil can come down here and he will be safe! And when it comes my time to be in a wheelchair, I can still live here and take the elevator up and get out of the house through Angie's house and down the ramp. I was afraid I would have to move because I couldn't get out of the house by myself and up the stairwells to get out. Now my prayers have been answered and I don't have to go! Whoohoo!! See, I knew with all this bad, some good can still come out of it all! :)
OH! We will be putting the elevator where the stairwell is that is in the middle-ish of the house. Phil will be able to come down to our house and visit with us and have dinner and stuff too. This will be SO cool! I'm so excited! And our other friends that are in chairs can come visit us too with no problems! :)
Oh crap! That means I'll have to clean my house before they come over now huh! Dam, there's always a catch isn't there? LMAO

Explode, Implode or Erupt?

Explode:
1). to cause to explode or burst noisily
2). to burst violently as a result of pressure from within 
3). to suddenly break apart in a violent way with parts flying outward
4). to burst forth with sudden violence or noise from internal energy
Implode:
1). to burst inward
2), to collapse inward in a very sudden and violent way 
3). to collapse inward as if from external pressure
4). to break down or fall apart from within

Erupt:
1).to burst from limits or restraint
2).to force out or release suddenly and often violently something (as lava or steam) that is pent up 
3).to become active or violent especially suddenly : break forth
4).to force out or release usually suddenly and violently

I was laying in bed most of today wondering how I could explain to the doctors what it actually feels like when my face migraines and headaches hit me. What words could I use so they could  KNOW how it feels from my point of view? These three words kept coming up over and over again... Implode, erupt and explode. 
Pretty tough words, I think, but how else do you explain what it feels like to have someone shove a foot long ice pick through your tooth and up into your nose and up through the top of your head? That's explosive don't ya think?  
How about when your head feels like its stuck in a vice and someone just keeps on cranking that lever tighter and tighter and you can't stop it and it feels like your head will implode any minute and it feels like your whole head will cave in on itself? How else do you explain that but to say it feels like it will implode?
And what about the days that you have so much pressure in your head that you want to drill a hole, for real, right into the top of your head and release that pressure and make your head erupt because you just can't take it anymore. Or stab an ice pick into your sinuses because to erupt that massive pressure bubble in your head has GOT to feel so much better than you feel right now! 
To be able to do anything to relieve that burning, stabbing, searing pain in your face and head and get any sort of relief from that is like a miracle to me and no one seems to understand that. How do you explain that to people and then the next words out of their mouth are "But you look good".... What the fuck?? Why do I bother......
And they wonder why the suicide rate for this is so dam high.

A Time To Believe

To believe is to know that
every day is a new beginning.
Is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come true.


To believe is to see angels
dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.


To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.


To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies within us
When it's time to pick up
the pieces and begin again.


To believe is to know
we are not alone,
That life is a gift
and this is our time to cherish it.


To believe is to know
that wonderful surprises are just
waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.


If only we believe.


Copyright © B.J. Morbitzer. All rights reserved.

Olivia

Olivia has figured out that my head and legs hurt and I can't stand for very long and that I sleep at weird times during the day. I just lay down and take a power nap! Sometimes I just get so exhausted I gotta lay down, so I just cuddle up with the dogs and we're out for about an hour.  :) She still doesn't know how sick I am though. I can't seem to just tell her. I'm hoping one of the boys will say something to her and then she will come to me and then I can explain it to her. I don't know....this is just weird to me. I don't feel like I owe her an explanation ya know? I mean , I put a roof over her head and stuff  but does she really need to know my personal stuff too? I don't know, just gonna play it by ear....

Sleep overs and showers

Harmony came flying down the stairs last night crying her poor eyes out, gasping for air and fell into my lap! You would have thought the world ended but in reality, her little friend Hanna didn't want to sleep over. Hanna is only 4 1/2 and not quite as 'worldly' as Harmony being a bum and staying at other people's houses for sleep overs. And last night was no different with Hanna not wanting to stay without her brother, Mason, or her mommy, Kayla. So I sort of calmed her down and sent her back up the stairs with Ron and 2 minutes after she got up there, she was on the phone calling me and asking if she could stay down here with us. Of course she was more than welcome! :)
So this morning at 7:15 am, there she is, bright eyed and bushy tailed racing me to the potty to pee! 
Then of course we need to take a shower and I tell her I was going to take a shower all by myself and hog all the water and that she can jump in when I'm done. I couldn't believe she fell for it! So I take my shower and call her into the bathroom and she's stripped naked in 2.3 seconds and into the water before I could blink! I wish she could undress that fast when it was time to get ready for bed! So while I'm getting dressed she says "Framma, which bottle do I use to wash up with?" I tell her the blue bottle in the corner. So she pours about a quarter of a bottle of BODY WASH on her head and there's a billion bubbles running down her naked little body and she flips open the shower curtain and says "Check it out, I look like an old Granny!" and flung the shower curtain back! So as she's rinsing her hair she says "Fram, can I pee in the water?" I say "I'd rather you pee in the toilet"...she says" Too late, it's already running down my legs"  So I just tell her that next time, I want her to pee in the toilet....  So she asks me what soap to use to wash her body with and I tell her to use Papas soap cuz it will make her skin all nice and softy.... she whips that curtain wide open and says "Are you kidding me? Boy's soap stinks!" So as she's flooding my floor, I had to prove to her that Papa's soap smells good and that its really does make skin feel softy!  Well that went over well, too well actually, I had to give her a brand new, extra bottle of Papa's soap, that I had so she could bring it upstairs for herself. Then it hits her and she says "You let me wash my hair with BODY soap!?" I said "Well that's what you asked for, how did I know you were gonna wash your hair?" and she looked at me dead in the eyes and says, "Everyone knows you wash your hair FIRST Framma, or did no one ever teach you that!? "  I laughed and she told me it was NOT funny....so I laughed even harder! LOL
Papa started making breakfast and Harmony starts to set the table. of course she grabs a plate for herself, then asks if she gets to eat down here too. I told her that her mom probably misses her by now and that her mom is probably making her breakfast too. Harmony looks right at Papa and says "You know Papa, my Mom knows right where I am and you know she's not gonna feed me". Papa and I cracked up laughing and I said "You know your mother feeds you!" And she says. "But Papa cooks so much better Framma!" LOL
Now we're waiting for some friends of ours to come pick up Hollister for a trial run at their house to see how he gets along with the kids and cats. I'm gonna miss that lil fart but he'll be the only dog and get lots more attention there than he gets here. So we'll see how it goes....

On this day God wants you to know...

On this day, God wants you to know
... that family is not a name for a group of people, but the quality of relationships between them. Relationships grounded in mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness. In all the ups and all the downs of life. Look closely, - who is really your family, and who in truth are just strangers in for the ...ride?

My real family isn't around. They don't care. Oh they pretend to give a shit. But when push comes to shove, they don't care.  My siblings are out there somewhere, absorbed in their own lives and I'm better off without them and their drama. 

I have my husband and our own kids that will stand by me always and forever, what more can I want?

Plus! I have the best friends any person could ask for. They give me their best times, their worst times and their messiest times and I love them with all their hearts! Yes, THEIR hearts!  They are my family. Not blood of my blood but the real blood that keeps my heart pumping and my anger subdued and keeps me out of jail! They're the ones that will pick me up out of a puddle of puke and feed me when I can't feed myself. The ones that will stop by to make me laugh even when all I can do that day is cry.  They will carry me when I can't walk and hold me up when I'm too weak to sit. They'll listen to my smart ass remarks and never let me get away with too much shit before they give it right back to me. 

Yes, these guys are my family, these crazy men and women that drive each other crazy and act like lunatics in public and embarrass the hell out of each other. We all have different quirks about each of us that drives each other nuts but we just accept them as they are and move on. No one gives a rats ass if Phil can't feed himself, we just shove food in his mouth or Terry has seizures or I can't make plans cuz I never know if I'll hurt too much that day or that I'm the crazy dog lady, or that Ryan can't hear you, or that Angie's Fibro is kicking her ass that day and we all get to watch the kids for her and take care of Phil. And when we really hurt, we can call Kayla and her magic fingers will fix any muscle in your body (except THAT one) lol We just hang out and take care of each other and each others kids. Get everyone to where they gotta go and get them what they gotta get ie: meds, bathed, fed, dressed and make sure everyone's taken care of. THAT'S what a family does.  And we're all pretty dam good at it too.

Dear Doctors. Dear Doctors:

So this is it?? This is all you can tell me? Peripheral Neuropathy - Fibromyalgia - Histiocytosis X - Restless Leg Syndrome- Trigeminal Neuralgia-Asthma- Degenerative Joint Disease- Depression- Facial Migraines and Daily Headaches and some lesions growing on my central nerve and on my Trigeminal Nerve and a boatload of other things that are wrong with me and you doctors have the balls to tell me it's going to get worse from here? No really? Do you think you're trying to scare me asshole?? Like I haven't been through enough? Yea, so what? I'm scared but not enough to give up yet. You just piss me off is what you do to me, that's all. Don't hand me another shitload of drugs and send me home, god dammit, FIX ME!! You sit there like a bunch of know-it-all bastards and then can't answer a simple question that I ask of you. My granddaughter can ask me a question and if I don't know the answer for her, I will work on it until I find one suitable to her age level to answer it for her so she understands it. How fucking hard can it be? Isn't it your  JOB to answer things for me? To tell me what the hell is going on with me and to be able to tell me what happens next? Don't push me off on some other doctor for the answer. Don't be some chicken shit that doesn't want to tell me I'm gonna die. I already know that's coming. I just want to know what I gotta do to prevent that from happening too soon dammit. I have things to DO until then! Lots of things to do and if you're gonna interfere with my plans, then I don't have time to listen to your horseshit and waste my time with you. Don't tell me to go home and wait...I'm not gonna do that. I have a garden to grow and grandbabies to help raise. I have dogs to save and a Husband to take care of. I have grown kids that need my direction and a huge ass house to clean! If you think all this shit's gonna get done by drugging me up into a zombie, well think again asshole, that's not gonna work for me either. If I'm gonna have to LIVE with all these diseases and pain then it's your job to see to it that I do so as comfortably as I can and as coherent as I can. I don't want to miss a day of my life and its your job to see that my wishes are met. If you're not up for the challenge then back out now because you'll be in for a hell of a ride with me. I don't give up and I don't give in and I sure as hell am not afraid to fire your ass!! Bring it on Pork Chop...I'm ready to fight!!

Poor Papa

Papa is sick.... darn big head cold that is "draining out his brain" , his quote, not mine. lol
All he wants to do is sleep, which is fine by me, he needs to. He took the rest of the week off work so he can rest. Harmony still isn't feeling the best...I wonder if her dad made her go to school today. Baby Canon is in a really good, silly mood today. Dancing, giggly and wiggly ... probably a good thing because Angie has today off and she needs a rest too. Poor Angie has 35 cysts on one ovary and 22 on the other. You would think after the hysterectomy that things would knock it off on 'mommyland' but no such luck for one of my kids... I think they'll be taking out the left ovary after all, if not both soon. But to have to take hormone pills at 26 is really gonna suck . Poor kid. I just want the pain to stop for her. I've been there, done that and I fought to get my surgery done, there's no reason she needs to suffer for as long as I did.
Today's pain levels are really high for me today. My face is pounding with a headache sitting on the edge waiting to spill over and get me. My hands can't do anything but type with 2 fingers...like I always do. :P I couldn't open up one of those little juice cans. I can barely feel the dam thing much less grab the lil tab thing with 2 fingers and pull it! My thighs and ass cheeks are freezing cold and my thighs hurt like someone beat the shit out of me and just keep slugging me in a new spot every half hour just to make sure I still feel the pain. My feet are all tingly hot and my knees feel like they wanna bend the wrong way so I don't trust myself to walk if I don't have to. Papa got the walker out for me in case I wanted to use it and I just looked at it and cried. I'm not ready for that shit yet. I'll fucking crawl first!

Good thing Ben didn't leave for FL today...It would have been a hell of a ride to get him to Green Bay for me and Papa today but we would have done it..... Ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes and sometimes it just sucks donkey dick.

I wish I could figure out how to post pictures on this blog.... my brain is too loopy to figure it out today though. Meds suck. Especially because the dam things don't seem to work, they just take the edge off. Now I know why people go postal.

And the past comes back to visit....

I knew her and her Dad for a few years.... the little blonde girl Olivia, and her daddy Ralph, fighting like crazy to get custody of her and doing everything the courts and social service people told him to do and even doing some parenting classes and things they didn't even ask him to do, just so he could see his little girl. She was about 5 or 6 at the time and just starting school and then Olivia moved away with her mom and I didn't get to see her anymore. Fast forward 15 yrs.... a mutual friend of ours Ron died. Our old dart throwing partner and drinking buddy brought us all back together again. Not that any of us drinks much anymore, but we're still friends...... we just don't hang out like we used to in the "old days" lol. Well Olivia needed someone to watch her dogs for 4 months until she finished school. Ralph got a hold of me and I got a hold of Olivia and now she's moving in here with her two dogs for the next 4 months so she can save up some money to buy a car. What are the chances of that? We haven't seen her for all this time and now she's right here, moving her stuff in tonight and finishing her schooling and letting us help her out! Well, shes not "letting us" she's being very stubborn about things, but I'll win in the end... LOL I told her she needed to buy slippers because my floors are cement and are cold but she didn't want to so I told her I was buying them so then she REALLY didn't want to get any, so I made her get some anyhow! lol She finally agreed that after a few hours that her feet were cold and needed to put on her slippers....silly kid! Mothers DO know best! Now to get her driving permit, graduated and a car ro drive and she will be on her merry way.
The only thing I see a problem with is telling her how sick I am and that she needs to help me...I seemed to have left that part out on purpose .... God forgive me.... she was too excited about being here and stuff that I couldn't ruin it for her. I hope I can find the right words tomorrow.

Sick of all the sick

Seems like everyone's sick again....
Poor Harmony has that virus that I had the past 6 weeks. I hope she doesn't get the infections in her chest and head too. That was/is some awful shit going around!

Benson should be leaving for FL this week. Maria is gonna love this dog. I'm gonna be lost without him... I took this skinny 36 pound, beaten down, full grown German Shepherd and made him into a confident, big mouthed kid with a heart of gold! Last night he snuggled up as close as he could get to me. My belly to his back and stayed there all night. I felt that heart beat on my arm all through the night and it made me feel so safe knowing that if anything made a strange noise in the night, Ben's head would spring up and listen ever so close and try to figure out the noise, before he sounded the alarm, so as not to wake me up in case it was a false alarm. When I got up to go pee, he would follow me to the potty, wait for me and escort me back to bed, let me get settled back in, then hop back into his spot and snuggle back into me. He would kiss my hand a few times in that lil soft way of his, as if to tell me goodnight again and he would drift off to sleep, protecting me from the sounds of the night.
 Goodbye Ben...if I don't let you go now, before I get really sick, I'll never want to let you go and you'll never want to leave my side. (You don't want to leave me the way it is now). It's time we part ways and for you to start a new life buddy...... I'll miss you more than you'll ever know.

Today I can't feel my legs from the knees down. I can feel the insides,, feels all tingly like they fell asleep, just can't  feel the outsides. This PN stuff is very weird shit and I'm not liking it one bit. I stepped on a needle and didn't know it 'til I sat down with my leg crossed under me and poked myself with the other end of it in my opposite thigh! I gotta watch this shit, I could get a serious infection and not even know it! My feet feel like I'm walking on burning hot golf balls again today and my hands don't wanna work. Poor Harmony tried to paint my fingernails a dark purple and my hands were shaking so bad that she asked Papa where the duct tape was so she could tape my hands to the kitchen table ! LOL I had so much polish on my left hand that it was dripping off but she insisted that it was just fine and I didn't know what I was talking about!....then she put on another coat!! OMG my hands are trashed! Yes, I left it on and yes, I wore this dark purple shit on my hands when I took Ben to the vet today! They were impressed that I left it on my hands! I was impressed that I wasn't stuck to the wall in my kitchen! LMAO Harm says she'll fix it for me tomorrow....To tell you the truth...I'm kinda scared...

Test Test

I tried to post a picture here. Obviously it didn't work.... I'll figure it our one day....

OMG I did it!!! WHOOHOO! There's no stopping me now! LOL This is Harmony's graduation from 4 K (Four yr old kindergarden)

Another day on the edge of a face migraine. I really hate these days. Nothing gets done, no one gets to spend quality time together and all because I feel like shit. Papa is making meatloaf for supper so I can at least eat tonight without feeling like my face is gonna blow up. 
Harmony, my little 5 yr old (almost 6) granddaughter will be home tomorrow after school with a bunch of new stories to tell me about her last few days at her dad's house and I would really hate to have to tell her to wait to tell me tomorrow, because Framma's head hurts too bad to listen to her. Nothing breaks my heart more than to see that little girl's eyes hurting when she knows I'm in big time pain again and we can't play. Of course I try to hide it but she always seems to see right through me and will try to take care of me like a little mommy herself. So on the really bad days, we just cuddle up and talk about anything and everything that a little girl can think of and make up funny words and she will pretend to read me books, even though she says she's reading them for REAL....she really just has them all memorized!
On the good days, we'll look stuff up on the internet like the colors of frogs and what the insides of trains look like and what happens to bad guys when they go to jail. Anything she wants to know about, ANYTHING! Framma will find an answer for her and most times, she will help me figure it out. She thinks I'm the smartest old lady in the whole wide world! lol. I won't lie to her, ever...even if she asks me about Santa Claus. I may skirt around the answer but I refuse to out right lie to her. I think it's very important for her to have that bond with me.
For instance, this past xmas we were talking about how Santa was going to get the presents into our house. I need to describe out house for you to understand this...Papa and I kind of live in the ground.
Our house is a split level duplex of sorts but it has a stairway with doors that goes from upstairs to downstairs from the middle of the house. Papa, Framma (me) and our 25 yr old son Ryan live downstairs in 2114 sq ft, 4 br , 1 bath, kitchen, living room etc....a whole house is down here with big windows in every room AND a fireplace! Upstairs in their own 2114 sq ft of house with their own living room, kitchen, 2 bath, 4 br and a wheelchair ramp but NO fireplace...lives Harmony age 5, Her baby brother, Canon 9 months old, her mom Angie, age 26, Angie's boyfriend Ron, and Phil, a quadriplegic
that is a live in client and Angie's full time job.
Papa and I don't celebrate xmas. Santa doesn't come to our house. Santa comes to Harmony's house though and she never questioned this set up of ours until this year. So she wanted to know how the presents were going to get into our house.  So I told her that Santa is afraid of our dogs ( 2 German Sheps, 2 Rotts, 2 Chi's, one Pit Bull and a Great Pyr) so he won't coming into my house. I told her that I think he could just use the wheelchair ramp instead of the fireplace! Well, she wasn't gonna fall for that. She's sitting on my desk right in front of me....grabs my face and says, "just say it Framma!" I said "Just say what?"  And she tells me..."Just say you were naughty and he ain't gonna come to YOUR house!"
Yup, that's my Harmony and one of her Harmonyisms....
Never afraid to say what she thinks...just like her Framma :)

Resolutions

2.
I will try to ask for help, patiently, from others without being bossy and demanding. I will remember that they also have a life and that the world does not revolve around me and my needs...

3.
I will continue to have fun through my pain...except for a migraine.

4.
I will try to tolerate my Mother In law for one more year. Just walk away........

5.
I will eat better, live better, listen to the doctors better (lol) and play outside more. I will try my hardest not to fall asleep in the middle of my prayers at night and try to be more patient.

6.
I will survive to see 2012 and I will not kill anyone in the process.

Resolutions

1. 

1. One of my new years resolutions: When people piss me off, I'll try not to get myself all worked up into a frenzy and feel the veins pop out in my forehead.....I'll just poke the bastard in the eyes and walk away instead! :)

The start of a new year and

the start of a blog......let's see where this will take me. Never did it, never wanted to, not sure I'll continue. But for Harmony's sake, I'll try.